Just Say No
So here you are. You've done more than you're share and you're getting beat up about what you didn't do or didn't do "right." What's wrong with this picture?
I recently heard from someone who said that her husband has some sort of medical condition. He is able to work, but he chooses not to. So she works. Then she comes home, does the laundry, makes dinner, helps the kids with homework, cleans the house, etc. All the while, he is sitting in his recliner, griping about how bad the food is or how noisy the kids are...and all she does is try harder to make a better dinner or keep those kids quiet. What's wrong with THIS picture?
I used to do the same thing. My ex would come in and start stripping right in the living room, leaving a trail of clothes behind him into the bedroom. I would follow right behind him, picking them up and take them to laundry hamper that lived inside our bedroom door... right where he was standing by that time. I finally told him I would not be picking up his laundry and putting it in the hamper anymore, nor would I be washing anything that I didn't find in the hamper. He of course ignored me; after DAYS of leaving his clothes in the livingroom (it really drove me nuts, too) he finally noticed I wasn't picking them up. He also noticed that his stock of workshirts was getting really low, since they were all in the livingroom. He asked me why were they there, and I just said, "Well I guess that's where you left them." I was informed that I was a B****, but he picked them up and dumped them into the hamper. The next day he had all clean clothes, and I never had to pick up his stinky workshirts again.
My point is this: you have the power to change the way things are. Yes, you've been doing it this way for years, you have been picking up his stinky laundry every single day. STOP. Tell him you're stopping. INVITE HIM TO DO IT HIMSELF. Of course, in your house it may not be laundry; maybe it's the way you load the dishwasher, or what you cook for dinner. LET HIM DO IT HIMSELF. You are not his personal maid. Get out of that mindset that if you don't do
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