Are You Being Physically, Verbally or Emotionally Abused? Take the Abuse Quiz


© Laura Wilkinson

This is a list of abusive behavior that you (or a loved one) might be experiencing. Answer these questions honestly with a yes or no.

Does your spouse or significant other:

  1. Hit, punch, slap, shove, or bite you?
  2. Threaten to hurt you or your children?
  3. Threaten to hurt friends or family members?
  4. Have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?
  5. Behave in an overprotective manner?
  6. Become jealous without reason?
  7. Prevent you from seeing family or friends?
  8. Prevent you from going where you want, when you want?
  9. Prevent you from working or attending school?
  10. Destroy personal property or sentimental items?
  11. Deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or even the car?
  12. Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
  13. Force you to have sex against your will?
  14. Force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy?
  15. Insult you or call you derogatory names?
  16. Use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children?
  17. Humiliate you in front of your children?
  18. Turn minor incidents into major arguments?
  19. Abuse or threaten to abuse pets?
  20. Withhold affection from you?

If you answered YES to even ONE of those questions, you are being verbally abused.

You may have said, "Yes, but he does it because he loves me, or because he worries about me, or he doesn't realize he's doing it." These "justifications" are excuses. There is never any acceptable reason for physically hurting someone.

Threatening, Controlling or Hurting You

Threats are a means to coerce you into submitting to someone else’s will.  Outbursts of anger and jealousy are also ways of "keeping you in line.” Preventing you from seeing family or friends, or from going to school or work, is a means to keep you away from their positive influence. An abuser knows that if you find out there is a normal world out there, they might lose their control over you. Controlling finances and making you account for every penny is also showing you "who's the boss."

Breaking or throwing away things you care about is a way to hurt you. It is calculated to do you harm. Forcing you to have sex against your will, insulting you, calling you names, making fun of you in public - these are all ways to make you subconsciously feel like you are not good enough.

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

7.   Jul 25, 2006 11:11 AM
In response to verbal and mental abuse posted by cateyez:

cateyez
I had a very hard time myself realizing that I needed ...

-- posted by Ashleigh13


6.   Jul 20, 2006 2:38 PM
i just wanted to say thanks for the quiz, it really made me understand that i am in a bad situation and that need to get out, if anyone has helpful advise please help... ...

-- posted by cateyez


5.   May 19, 2006 4:35 AM
In response to thank you posted by ppate:

Paula is referring to this article:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq ...


-- posted by samvak


4.   May 16, 2006 10:29 AM
In response to thank you posted by mamii:
Read "surviving the Narcissists" on Sam's site.
Paula ...

-- posted by ppate


3.   May 16, 2006 10:21 AM
thank you for making me realize that i am being verbally abused. I will try and make things work this time but if they keep repeating then i am getting out of the relationship. Thank you again

xx ...


-- posted by mamii





For a complete listing of article comments, questions, and other discussions related to Laura Wilkinson's Verbal/Emotional Abuse topic, please visit the Discussions page.