And what a rare treat;
My vegetarian mom,
is preparing some meat!
She pulled out the turkey,
Defrosted and huge.
It slid down the counter,
As if doing the luge.
She unwrapped the bird,
And stuck a hand in;
Out came a neck,
And gone was Mom's grin.
She took a deep breath,
And tried the next end.
After one hour of pulling,
She called a good friend.
"Oh carnivore friend,"
She said into the phone,
"There's a handle inside,
And it's stuck in the bone."
One more hour of pulling,
And it finally came out.
"It cut my darn hand!"
Mom said with a shout.
With bandage in place,
She went at it again,
"Beware of the bag."
Said the carnivore friend.
Mom looked in the bag,
And her face went quite pale.
"Merry Christmas," she said,
"It's a bag of entrails."
In another half-hour,
Her nausea had passed,
And the turkey went into,
The oven at last.
For the next several hours,
I wasn't surprised,
When she walked past the oven,
Mom averted her eyes.
When dinner time came,
She left carving to Dad,
I don't blame my Mom,
She gave all that she had.
Mom stood with conviction,
At the end of our feast,
She announced with a flair,
"I've tamed the wild beast!"
"But next Thanksgiving,
We're having tofu.
If you'd made the turkey,
You'd be a vegetarian too!"
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