Is Too Much Soap Ever a Bad Thing?


I received this hilarious exchange in my inbox early last year. It is one of my favorites. This urban legend is like a game of telephone-it is a story that starts out one way, and ends up just a little different. It is a bit that has been used in the act of comedian Shelly Berman for the last 20 years or so, but it appeared on the Internet in the late 1990's as "something that happened to a guy I knew." Another example of this "urban legend altering" is the appearance of an essay called "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen" a few years ago. It was attributed in the legend to author Kurt Vonnegut as text of a speech he had made at a commencement address at MIT. But it was actually a column written by Mary Schmich in 1997. Did this exchange between Mr. Berman and his hotel maids really occur? Maybe. Comedians certainly use true-life events to enrich their acts. In this case, only Shelly Berman and the hotel in question will ever know for sure.

Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman

Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.

The copyright of the article Is Too Much Soap Ever a Bad Thing? in Urban Legends is owned by Lisa Mongan. Permission to republish Is Too Much Soap Ever a Bad Thing? in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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