You are an Ultra Runner if...

Since Suite 101 is making some major changes in the beginning of November, I have again published a humorous list of what an ultra runner is. Part one is this week and part two next week. I will continue my regular articles on November 13. Thank you for your patience.

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I want to thank Kevin Sayers for this collection of humorous, yet somewhat truthful, sayings that ultra runners have contributed. Check out his great home page for a lot more of really valuable information!

You know you're an ultra runner if...

1.Your wife tries to get you to spend time with your three children and you reply "Three?" 2.You spend more time in the drug section than the food section of the local market.

3.You wonder why they don't make all running socks a dusty brown color.

4.You have more dirt on your shoes than in your garden.

5.You think that flagel and ibutrophin belong on the breakfast table.

6.You get more phone calls at 5 a.m. than at 5 p.m.

7.You don't recognize your friends with their regular clothes on.

8.You have more buckles than belts.

9.You postpone your wedding because it will interfere with your training.

10.You keep mistaking your boss for Norm Klein.

11.6 a.m. is sleeping in.

12.Your feet look better without toenails.

13.Your idea of a fun date is a 30-mile training run.

14.You're tempted to look for a bush when there's a long line for the public restroom.

15.You don't think twice about eating food you've picked up off the floor.

16.You can expound on the virtues of eating salt.

17.You develop an unnatural fear of mountain lions and bears.

18.When you wake up without the alarm at 4 a.m., pop out of bed and think "let's hit the trails."

19.When you can recite the protein grams by heart of each energy bar.

20.You don't even LOOK for the Porto-sans anymore.

21.Your ideal way to celebrate your birthday is to run at least your age in miles with some fellow crazies.

22.Your ideal way to have fun is to run as far as you can afford to with some fellow crazies.

23.You know the location of every 7-11, public restroom, and water fountain within a 25-mile radius of your house.

24.You run marathons for speed work.

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