Luck and Chronic Illness

"Aunt Becky Undergoes Surgery the headline read. The headline was part of a family newspaper I created when I was little, complete with crayon illustrations.

This newspaper was just one of the many creative writing activities I did as a child. I wrote many short stories, and filled a notebook with poetry.

When I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis five years ago, I was a junior in college. It was tough coping with the disease and explaining it to people, but I managed. I hoped I would be one of the lucky ones my doctor described when he delivered the diagnosis: "Some people have one attack of symptoms and never experience symptoms again. Others have symptoms for the rest of their lives." But I was unlucky. On the other hand, maybe I was actually lucky. Coping with the disease has taught me many things about myself. When I was diagnosed I didn't receive a lot of information about the illness. In fact, my first doctor recommended surgery to remove my colon. His treatment regimen was not making me better, so he was ready to jump in to surgery!! Therefore, I sought out a new doctor. He changed my treatment changed and I got better. I began researching the disease and became active in my local Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America (CCFA) chapter. Armed with knowledge about my illness, I felt more empowered to deal with my condition. After graduation, I expressed an interest to CCFA to help with public relations and promotion. My college major was journalism, so volunteering my writing skills would be a great resume builder. I began editing and designing the local CCFA newsletter, and occasionally flyers and postcards.

A friend recently commented on my strength. She recently became pregnant with her first child, and is struggling with the worse case of morning sickness. She asked me how I deal with a chronic illness each day and said I must be a saint. I have never considered myself strong. Each flare up stresses me out and sends me into a state of depression over what I CAN'T do because of the illness. How is that being strong? I do not deserve such praise.

The diagnosis has helped me in other ways. Through my research into colitis I have learned many things about the disease and have a strong desire to share it with others. By sharing, others can benefit from what I have learned and experienced, but I am also creating awareness of the disease and the search for a cure.

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