Undeveloped Virtues

Sometimes, I think, human will is so strong that it simply cannot be controlled by outside forces. We might be able to train that will, bend it slightly or even restrain it now and then, but in the end that stubborn streak prevails. In these cases the best we can do as parents is give such a strong willed child the knowledge he/she needs to turn that hard headedness into the virtues of self-reliance and survival instinct. They've already used their strength of will to survive what they feel is overly restrictive authority influence, they only need to understand that they can also apply the same determination to surviving life's natural hardships.

How? We encourage them to survive the natural consequences of their actions. We continually reassure them of their strengths but we do not rescue them. Some people are artists, some are scientists, some are engineering geniuses. They probably never knew their notebook doodles, experiments with baking soda and vinegar or the time they took Dad's lawnmower apart just to see how it worked was practice for what they would do in their adult lives. We never know when or why we may need our talents. I needed my stubborn streak in order to keep butting my head against my handicap while I worked and raised my children. I hope my son never needs his hard head for that purpose, but because of his strength of will he is capable of sailing over any challenge.

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