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Undeveloped Virtues

© Jean Hamman

I am very sorry that I have been unable to keep up with this site for the last month, but I have run into a few physical problems of late that have sapped my energy as well as my ability to sit or stand for even brief periods of time. I don't know if I have ever mentioned my handicaps here, so I reckon this is as good a time as any.

Aside from having lived through a troubled teen myself, I have also been a single, handicapped Mom for most of my boys' upbringing. I have had over ten hip surgeries, the last of which was a total hip replacement in 1988 which had failed miserably by 1989. As a result of having a lifelong hip problem and leg length discrepancy, my back is shot to heck. I can walk approximately 30 feet before the pain becomes too great to continue. Past that distance on a good day I can use a cane. Most days, however, I use a wheelchair.

In the last month I have developed an odd palpable mass just to the left of my sacrum. My back has been swollen to the point that leaning back in bed or in a chair has been, at best, extremely painful. I've developed strange bruises around my lumbar spine. X-rays showed nothing particularly frightening, but I have an MRI scheduled tomorrow morning for the purpose of a more thorough look.

Lest you think this is some strange plea for sympathy please let me assure you I need none. I'm quite stubborn and strong willed, traits that caused my parents no end of frustration when I was growing up. These traits were obviously passed on to my eldest son and caused me no end of parental frustration as well. As a result, however, when I say that a stubborn will can be turned into a tremendous virtue, I do have the experiences to back the statement up.

Knowing my own strengths and understanding that they have not always been recognizable as virtues, helped give me the courage I needed to lead my son through his troubled years. When I would be almost ready to dissolve into despair and terror, I would force myself to look at the positives. For instance, if the kid was strong willed enough to find such creative ways of ditching school, he was quite capable of finding creative ways to escape harm. If he was bone headed enough not to allow anyone to correct him then he was bone headed enough not to let the rigors of adult life squash him like an inconsequential gnat.

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