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The Unlovable Child - Page 2

© Jean Hamman

We must learn to judge ourselves fairly through forgiveness of both real and imagined mistakes. By forgiveness we do not excuse ourselves, we are simply able to make amends, avoid that mistake in the future and refuse to allow these incidents to rule our lives. We are able to clearly identify similar experiences and distinguish them from incidents which only seem similar. Forgiving ourselves allows us to treat each problem that arises as new and base our responses not only on what we have learned, but also on critical evaluation of the current event.

Conflicted feelings are normal in the course of leading an out of control and often unlovable child into maturity, but we cannot allow ourselves to become paralyzed by that conflict. In order not to enable out of control behaviors and to detach ourselves from the emotional turmoil surrounding our troubled teens, we must understand, accept, forgive and move forward from our feelings of shame and guilt.

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