You Aren't Alone

As parents we easily get caught up in the storm of emotion surrounding our teens. Facing titanic waves in little more than a makeshift canoe, we brace against one tornadic wind after the other and we often find ourselves feeling cut off and alone. We expend energy in head butting contests, the seemingly endless string of parent/teacher conferences, court dates, sleepless nights and endless days of argument, until we are ready to drop from exhaustion, stress, depression and the seeming hopelessness of our situations.

Feeling alone is quite understandable given our circumstances. Everywhere we look we seem to see parents raising the perfect child/children. The entertainment industry plies us with pictures of perfect families or families who are only dysfunctional because of the parents. We may be outnumbered, but we are not alone. We simply have to make the effort to find others who share our predicament. Finding counseling and a good support group where you feel comfortable are imperative to your goal of helping your troubled teen. You cannot help your child when you are bound by depression, exhaustion and terror.

Support groups for parents of unruly teens are full of both Moms and Dads who are currently going through the same problems and can empathize. When you tell them you got frustrated and yelled back at your child they will nod in full understanding because they've been that frustrated. When you tell them you just don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning they'll understand exactly how you feel because they've been that depressed. In short, there is little to nothing you can't tell them that they haven't experienced or know they may well experience in the future. A particularly good group will make you feel as though you've come home to an open and accepting family you never knew existed.

A good supportive group will also be able to tell you what has and has not worked for them in managing their teens. Brainstorming problems is one of the greatest advantages to being in a support group with other parents. Corporations have departmental meetings where employees working on the same projects get together to identify problem areas and find the best solutions. Think of your support group as the Department of Parenting. For each parent in the group you'll gain long lists of new ideas and insights for helping your teen from how to avoid yelling contests to logical consequences. They will also give you a podium from which to voice your frustrations, your anger, your terror, and your tears.

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