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Does Barliman Have a Beard? And Other Important Fannish Issues - Page 7

© Michael Martinez

People ask me if I have a problem with Fonstad. No, I don't have a problem with her...as long I have Tolkien's books to consult. But try persuading folks not to bring her into a discussion of Middle-earth geography. And let's not even get into Barbara Strachey. Sorry, folks. There's no substitute for a Tolkien map. Fonstad also took on the difficult question of just how many men fought in the battle of the Pelennor Fields. Um, the correct answer is, "We don't know." Tolkien didn't tell us. So, what the heck. We'll just make up some numbers and go with them! Yes, if Tolkien's absence of denial doesn't prove there were really only 50 hill-men at Minas Tirith and that 1,000 men came up the river with Aragorn, Fonstad's well-reasoned "estimates" do prove these numbers. Okay, she's the only author in print to offer any numbers. Maybe there's a reason for why even J.E.A. Tyler didn't stick his neck out and suggest there were X number of "Guard of Minas Tirith" (who are the Guard of Minas Tirith anyway? -- what the heck, Tolkien didn't say there wasn't such a group, so Fonstad must be right again!). Anyone is free to guess, but that's really all we can do: guess. Make up numbers. How Fonstad got promoted to an authority on Tolkien's armies (she's a cartographer, not a collaborator) escapes me. Of course, the old Rohirrim argument raises its head every now and then and someone points out how the Rohirrim were really just Anglo-Saxons because Tolkien used Old English to represent their language. Sauron spoke English in the book. Does that make him the Queen of England? Or, worse, is he the Prince Consort? Tolkien said his use of Old English to represent the Rohirrim doesn't mean they were actually to be identified with the Anglo-Saxons. Not to worry, Professor Tom Shippey assures us: Tolkien is a liar. What a profound sense of reasoning! But nonetheless, Shippey's conclusion is presented as the absolute proof positive that Tolkien's Rohirrim are Anglo-Saxons. Tolkien really didn't know what he was talking about. So, if Tolkien didn't know what he was up to, then why should we settle for the deplorable answer to the all-time greatest most often-asked Tolkien question: What was Tom Bombadil? Tolkien merely said he was an enigma. Nothing more. Nonetheless, people have tried to prove he was Aule, Manwe, Iluvatar, a manifestation of the Earth, a Maia, an Elf, something else altogether, and J.R.R. Tolkien himself.

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