Garn, Garn, It's an Orc's life for me!
© Michael Martinez
Word has it that Michel Hurst, best known around the world as Iolaus on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys declined the opportunity to appear as an Orc in Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings" movies. That's a shame. I'd have loved to see him bring the gravelly voiced wit and repartee of Charon to Middle-earth. "Hey! What are youse halflings doin' here? We got business witchoo!" Ah well, Michael's a little too busy, they say.
Orc-lovers around the world will have to hope the nasty little roles are doled out carefully to actors of equal talent, for there's nothing like a bad Orc to liven up one's day.
A few months ago I was visiting the Vault's Middle-earth Online developers' message board where prospective players of the much-anticipated game can ask questions and make suggestions. The subject of playing Orcs came up. Some people apparently enjoy playing evil characters in role-playing games and they wanted to know if Orcs would be available.
Not in the first release of the game, it appears.
The official games may not be ready to unleash Orc-players, but at least one unofficial gaming group has taken the plunge. Down, Down to Goblin Town memorializes some imaginitive (if not entirely faithful) Orc adventures. These Orcs seem a little better educated and talkative than Tolkien's Orcs. Somehow, I don't think Sauron would have funded an Orc Academy for the Fine Arts. Education has traditionally been portrayed as a threat to tyranny. Ignorant masses are easier to manipulate than educated masses.
Online gamers have probably long since heard about Elendor MUSH, a Multi-User Shared Hallucination founded in 1991. There are many Web sites out there devoted to the MUSH, but not many which celebrate the Orcness of Being. In fact, the MUSHers don't all seem to appreciate the Mordain (that's probably someone's attempt to extend Tolkien's Sindarin language) the way a good Orc-lover would. For example, Torus ben-Armeir: Lord of the Flame Tower indicates in one of the summaries for his logs that he's not very fond of Sauron's critters, though he is a true Corsair at heart.
Playing an Orc in a movie should be relatively easy compared to playing one in an ongoing game. The movie Orcs probably just show up whenever it's time for some slashing and killing (knowing they'll end up on the sharp end of someone's sword eventually). In a role-playing game, the Orcs should be as motivated to survive as the Elves, Dwarves, and Men. And they probably get bored just like everyone else too.
The copyright of the article Garn, Garn, It's an Orc's life for me! in J.R.R. Tolkien is owned by Michael Martinez. Permission to republish Garn, Garn, It's an Orc's life for me! in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
