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Toddler Discipline Part Two-Consequences

© Charlene Cunningham

Implementing consequences is the next phase of toddler discipline once you have mastered positive wording. Here is an example of a situation using both.

Your toddler is throwing his blocks. You would first use your positive wording and say “Blocks are only for building with” or “Hold your blocks in your hand.”

If your toddler continues to throw blocks you would use an “If/Then” statement such as “If you throw your blocks again then I will take them away.” If your toddler throws the blocks again you will remind them of the If/Then statement: “Remember I said if you throw these I would take them away?” Then you will follow through with your consequence. “Now I will take them away.”

It is important to keep the consequence realistic. In other words, if your toddler is pouring water out of the tub, the consequence should be that the child get out of the tub, not that there will be no baths for a week! It is equally important to follow through with whatever consequence you set up in your If/Then statement. After a few times of being told a consequence and having it actually happen, children learn real quickly that you mean business!

Another important rule for consequences is to have the punishment fit the crime as closely as possible. If your child is running through the store the consequence should be that he has to ride in the cart, not that he can’t watch Teletubbies for a week. There are situations where this is very difficult such as when your child is hitting another child. In this scenario a Time Out may be appropriate. Time Outs should last as long in minutes as is the age of the child (your 2 year old has to sit out for 2 minutes). Time Outs work best when the child is removed from the situation, but is still in view of the parent. For the duration of the Time Out you should withdraw your attention from the child. For instance, if the child is crying or screaming, do NOT acknowledge it (like saying “Stop crying.”). After the Time Out is over, go over the situation with your child. Be sure to redirect them as to what you expect to see from them like “Next time use your words. Say ‘It’s my turn to use the toy’ instead of hitting your friend.”

Another good use of consequence is to have your child participate in the clean up of whatever “mess” was created. If she squeezed toothpaste all over the bathroom floor go get your sponge, but get her one too! If she hit a friend on the head with a toy, have her help hold the ice pack on to fix the ‘boo boo”.