The Best Gift


© Mike Woods

The woman I live with (my wife) is a planner. She plans everything. The dinner menu (which I heartily applaud), our vacation slots (again, I'm in favor) and our trips to the dentist, etc.

But some time ago, she began to intrude into my weekly and daily schedule by asking such questions as 'What are we doing two weeks from Friday?' They say opposites attract. This is by all means the case here.

My idea of planning is asking where am I eating lunch today? (that's the question I ask at 11:00 AM that morning). Needless to say this contrast in calendar perspective makes for some interesting conversations...'So, what about Friday two weeks from now? Dear...I could be dead by then!'

But as painful as it is to admit, I've learned some things from her. Truth is, I've learned MANY things from her. One of them is the value of planning. She's the one who points out my practice of 'shoe-horning' things into my schedule and finding I've just double-parked. She's the one who points out the way I schedule every evening of the week for meetings and assorted occupations. She's the one who is teaching me the sanity and rest of planning and the balance it brings. Thanks dear.

Recently, I was working on a personal strategic plan ( I know boring). It involves developing written personal core values, those things that are especially inportant personal truths, the nonnegotiables of your personal life. One of those truths was that, to me, family mattered more than work.

It suddenly occurred to me that if that were true, why didn't it show up on my calendar? Things that matter the most should be scheduled first. Stephen Covey calls this 'putting the big rocks in first'.

Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable. If this was a true core value, then things had to change. My calendar had to change. I had to PLAN.

I'm learning. I'm learning. It's not easy, but I'm learning. But perhaps we can all learn this just in time. Here's my point: the holidays are coming. Shopping, parties, crowds.

Most of us will have many more opportunities to socialize than we've got time for. So we have to make some choices. Let me suggest your first choice...choose to leave ample time for family. Sit down with your spouse and your respective calendars, and map out your relational strategy right now, before the whole things gets out of hand...remember last year?

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Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

2.   Nov 4, 2001 3:38 PM
I have been realizing in the last 2 weeks where I need to make a change from my accustomed style to express my love for Judy. It is helpful to see somebody else realizing such a thing, and choosing t ...

-- posted by Dan_Ellsworth


1.   Nov 2, 2001 2:12 PM
I love your words of wisdom. I just wish more people really understood what it takes to be married for as long as you have been! Hey I'm coming in at a close second. This year is my 18th anniversary. ...

-- posted by CFOvard





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