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The '15 Second Rule'

© Mike Woods

Have you noticed how people with amazingly different communication styles wind up married to each other? One is able to express themselves in a heartbeat while the other needs days to 'process' what they feel. For the instant communicator, this can seem like an eternity. For the 'processor, this will feel like a journey upon which they've embarked. Given enough time the 'instant communicator' will probably forget what was being discussed.

The result is that both people can become frustrated. They may come to a place in their relationship where they just stop talking. After all, it's just too much effort.

Is there any hope for these communicatively diverse couples? Well, if you find yourself in this place...here's a little exercise. It's called "15 Seconds". The plan is simple. Once the other person expresses themselves on any given subject, you have fifteen seconds to respond.

Granted, this may cause you to be a incomplete in expressing your entire thought...and by the way you can speak for as long as you need to - at least as long as the other person is paying attention.

The point behind this exercise is to break up the verbal logjam that occurs when we feel we must parse every verb and be totally accurate and complete in our conversations.

When you begin to implement "15 Seconds" at least one of the couple will be VERY uncomfortable...likely the one who needs days to 'process'. The other person will of course, be ecstatic...the pace of the conversation just came up to their preferred speed.

Eventually, you'll reach a pace comfortable for both. And you'll find the joy of just sharing with each other without the need to utter whole thoughts, completely considered and supported. You may find yourselves talking to each other just for the fun of it! Now, there's a novel idea.

Anyhow, give it a shot. "Okay honey...you've got 15 seconds"...