The Heart of It All

The teen years are an amazing confluence of emotion, physical change, and severe self doubt. I wouldn't go back for anything. I remember as a teenager wondering as all teens wonder...'is there anyone out there for me?'

And then it happened, after a fair amount of dating, that perfect one crossed my path and I began the pursuit. And to my delight, she accepted my proposal. We married and have lived mostly happily ever after.

What was it I was after when I married? The obvious comforts that come with marriage? Or was there something more?

In the first book of the Bible, Genesis, the story is told of human creation and the day God presented Eve to Adam. His initial response beyond "Good job God!" (that's a paraphrase) was "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh...".

Adam recognized something of himself in her and something of her in him. Adam sensed a wholeness because she was near. The Garden (and life as he knew it) would never be the same.

Deep down, it seems most of us are looking for that same thing. On the surface it looks like we're seeking someone to share the chores, the stress, and the joys of everyday life. But deeper, there is a need for that 'bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh' experience.

Deep down all of us need that someone with whom we can be ourselves and be loved for it (or in spite of it).

Deep down we need someone to believe the best of us, even when they have reason to believe otherwise.

Deep down we need a soul mate, just as Adam sensed in Eve. Facing life together, shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart.

How we find that person is serendipitous. How we keep that person is more about personal investment. I write now and then about the desire to stay in the game. But it all comes back to that desire back there in our adolescence to have that special person and to be freely accepted by that person. And to accept them in return.

Those of us who God-seekers find that acceptance in our relationship with God. But when it comes to finding that in human form, there is none better than our husband or wife.

Wherever you are in your marriage, I encourage you to revisit that emotion early on in your life, that longing to be loved. Take a long look at what you were looking for then and pursue it in your marriage now...you're in for an adventure!

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