Marital Maintenance Checks

Never is this more true than in the area of marital maintenance. Most of us know we should give our marriages more attention. But hey, we're all just too busy...right?

I used to fly for fun. The thing I liked about airplanes was that you knew whatever you flew, it was held to a strict regimen of maintenance and review. In fact the engine got overhauled every thousand hours, need it or not. The whole idea was to solve problems before they occurred. A great idea when your life is literally hanging in the balance.

Marriages are more like sailboats. As long as they're floating, we don't think twice of boarding and sailing away. We figure, how bad can it be?

The problem is that many, many marriages, are barely floating. And if we were to glimpse deep within we'd find they're taking on water and on their way down. Not safe at all.

Which begs the maintenance issue. What if, like airplance, all marriages had to submit to an annual review to determine their health? How many would be deemed safe? How many would be deemed hazardous?

It never ceases to amaze me the seemingly healthy marriages that somehow wind up on the bottom of the matrimonial ocean due to neglect. All because no one bothered to do the maintenance required to keep them strong.

Maintenance in marriage is things like regular and frequent nights out. Surprise getaways. Flowers for no reason. Notes left on the bed pillow or simple loving messages left on the other's voice mail. These are all maintenance. And they cost very little compared to the pain and misery of a separation or divorce.

So how about your marriage? When's the last time you subjected it to careful review? How do you do this? It's not hard.

Clear a night on each other's schedule with the sole purpose of assessing your marriage. Ask questions like, "If you could change one thing about our marital life, what would it be?" Or "On a scale of one to ten(one being miserable, 10 being ecstatic), how would you rate your satisfaction with our marriage?"

You see, if you don't perform the regular checks and maintenance, no one else will. And eventually, your marriage will break down. It'll sink. And like most everything, it's a lot harder to fix a broken marriage then to maintain one.

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