Home » Partners & Parents » Marriage Advice » Why Stay Married?

Why Stay Married?

© Mike Woods

Why stay married? Watch 30 minutes of almost any primetime network TV show on any given evening and you'll be presented with lots of reasons not to stay married. Sex, adventure, excitement, change of scenery, change of pace. You name it, you'll see it...lots of reasons to walk away.

Pick up the newspaper. Lots of press these days about 'different kinds of families'. What they really mean is families where marriage isn't a factor. Couples living together without the 'complication' of marriage. The latest relational experiment.

So for those of us who happen to be married now, why bother staying together? After all, isn't it boring? Monotonous? Predictable? Lackluster? (There are more adjectives where those came from!)

The truth is there are LOTS of reasons to stay together. Like history. We who are married have written a story together. Granted not all the chapters are cheery. Some of them tell tales of significant challenges, even times of defeat. But many of them shine with the joy of deep committment and lasting soul satisfaction.

How about this for a reason: even with it's challenges, it's the best we'll have. Don't get me wrong...I'm suggesting you're some pathetic loser who was just darn lucky to find ANYONE. What I'm saying is that even though the media subtly attempts to persuade us that there may be someone better 'out there somewhere', the truth is, we're just plain blessed to be in a relationship with that other person.

Yeah, they've got their flaws, their quirks, their idiosyncrasies. But they're flaws, quirks, and idiosycrasies we KNOW about. Who'd you REALLY like to start over with a WHOLE NEW SET OF BAGGAGE??? And besides all that...we've got OUR BAGGAGE TOO! Maybe the market is down on our particular baggage.

Reasons to stay together...oh, yeah, how about the kids? As a pastor, sometimes I do weddings that you need a therapist just to get everyone in the same room. It's his second or her third and they've got offspring of all ages and names. How about a playbook next time...or a diagram of the existing family tree...or should I say forest?

Bottom line, it's up to each of us to find our own reasons to keep it together. This I know...whatever reason we find, there is a reward and a satisfaction for those who make it work. It's the look in the eyes of an old couple that speaks to the years this love has spanned, the bumps in the road they've endured, the storms they've overcome.