The Mini-Honeymoon

Do you remember your honeymoon? Wow...who can forget? For some of us we simply endured the wedding in order to get to the honeymoon. Sure, the thought of giving ourselves completely to that other person for the first time was pulse-quickening. The thought of beginning your life together was simply inspiring. Oh, the honeymoon.

But far too soon you returned from the honeymoon. And so began the hard work of being together in the midst of all the daily pressures...work, finances, schedules, etc. You did great for a while. But sooner of later most of us find ourselves just going through the motions.

When life becomes just a series of routines, our marriage can become just one of those routines. The truth is none of us signed on for that. All of us had such great expectations of this glorious unending romance. What happened?

As we laughingly say, 'the honeymoon is over'. The infatuation with the idea of doing life with this other person faded into the reality of all those habits and idiosyncrasies the other person brings to the marriage. And at times we're just ready to scream.

But how about this...what if you could develop the ability to experience and enjoy mini-honeymoons? What if you could build into your life together that feeling you experienced when you anticipated and then experienced the honeymoon. Would it make your marriage better? You betcha!

So how do we do it? How do we revisit our honeymoon. Well, apart from the obvious implications of sexual intimacy, there is a key factor which, with some discipline, can be revisited and experienced on a regular basis.

Do you recall your honeymoon? How you were so focused on each other that the rest of the world was nothing more than the stage upon which your love story was told? That focus on each other was the heart of the honeymoon. Allowing each other the luxury of exclusive mutual attention.

Let me ask you a key question: What would happen to your marriage if you began to build those times back into your marriage? Times when you both agreed to just think of each other and let the other stuff wait. Would it change things? Would it make your married life more fulfilling? Richer? My guess is absolutely.

It may be a somewhat foreign concept, but try this: Block out some time...an hour, two or three every week. Lay down the rules -we will only speak of us...how we are doing, how we feel about each other, our hopes for our relationship, and how we would like to spend our exclusive time together next time. If you have young children, get a sitter. If you have cell phones, turn them off. Leave the pager at home. Get away from the TV. Your email will wait.

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