Is Anybody Happy Out There?

It seems no matter where I go, from McDonalds to Walmart, all I seem to hear is about marriages that are either unhappy or marriages that are blowing up.

What is the deal? How is it that this thing which has nurtured children and brought a degree of societal stability is now being discarded at an alarming rate. According to 1998 statistics from the United States Census Bureau, divorce rates are at about 50%. That's one out of two marriages are headed for the toilet.

What is going on? Some days it seems everywhere I turn I hear of one couple after another that is in trouble or headed for divorce court. It's enough to drive you to despair.

What IS the deal? Maybe it's the pace of the life we live. Maybe it's the hours we work. Maybe it's all the 'things' we pursue, certain that when we have this or that we'll be happy. And sadly, that happiness continues to elude us.

Maybe it's all those Madison Avenue commercials that present everyday life in such a way that it's supposed to be only normal to be totally content.

Maybe it's the TV shows that either show marital life as utterly perfect or as a dismal disappointment. Either way, for those of us in the middle somewhere, we wonder if there's hope.

The truth is, and every pre-marital couple needs to encounter this truth, Ward and June Cleaver have left the building. And by the way, the 'building' for Ward and June was a Hollywood sound stage. It wasn't real. They weren't real.

The truth, which is in short supply is that most days for most people, including married people, perhaps especially married people, most days are filled with one challenge or another.

Some of those challenges are the day to day stuff, caring for the kids, paying the bills, mowing the lawn. On top of the domestic chores and responsibilities, there are the challenges of living with someone who is often radically different than ourselves.

So why do marriages blow up? Granted, there ARE people who should have never gotten married. Opposites may attract, but it helps if they can at least speak the same language.

There are those who just lose focus. They forget the joy they found in the love and acceptance of that other person.

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