Is There Room for Romance In Marriage?

It's Valentines Day. The pressure's on. Have to be thoughtful. Have to be romantic. It seems the whole world is in romance mode. But here you are...married for all those years. Is there any hope?

It seems a necessity that a good marriage be a stable marriage. Stable can mean a lot of things. No huge emotional ups and downs. the bills get paid. The garbage goes out. The clothes get washed. Chores, chores, and more chores. In the process, the marriage can get carried out with the trash and all the other day to day chores.

What can we do? How can we rekindle the flame that had us say 'I Do' so long ago? Or are we just destined to become the stereotypical 'old couple'.

It's been long true that if we don't care for our marriage, no one else will. I can't remember the last time the phone rang and some telemarketer on the other end said, "Hi, this is the Marriage Police. We're just calling to see how your marriage is going!" Can't say that it's ever happened. The truth is it's up to us, the few, the proud, the married.

So why not take another run at this whole thing. Think back (for some, way back). What did you do in the beginning? Long drives on country roads? Late nights at great concerts? Dinner for two at your favorite spot.

Question...who's taking the initiative to see that it's still happening? Who's in charge of the romance department in your marriage?

My suggestion: both partners should take responsibility, but since you're the one reading this article, you go first. Simplify your schedule to allow for more thought time about the relationship. The biggest day to day killer of relationships is distraction. Secondly, begin in small ways to reconnect and rekindle the spark. Arrange for time alone. Arrange for time away. Go to bed early.

Take some long walks with long talks. Slow down long enough to begin to THINK about the other person outside of how they can meet YOUR needs.

From a spiritual side, pray for each other. Nothing brings a couple together like prayer.

Romance isn't the instant McRomance we hear about on Valentine's Day. It's the 100 little things you do for each other through the year that says you made the right choice back then and you'd make it again today. Romance, at it's best, is love in action.

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