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The First Five Minutes at Home

© Mike Woods

Have you ever noticed how some evenings at home are as warm and comfortable as your favorite pair of sneakers while others are a frigid as the latest arctic blast? Could it be what happens in the fist five minutes at home?

Many of us live our lives at a frantic pace throughout the day. and when we come home the pace continues. Change clothes, get dinner, return phone calls, read the mail. So much to do, so little time.

And then we notice that familiar stranger across the room. We've been so busy we've barely spoken. And it shows. There's this emotional chasm in the room. Where'd that come from? It's the first five minutes.

The way we relate to our spouse in the first five minutes we're at home together each day will profoundly impact the way we relate for the remainder of the evening. If we ignore each other in order to get the meal going, we'll pay for it with a disconnected conversation at dinner.

Many of us pass through our day envisioning a close cuddly evneing on the couch. But when we carry the pace of our day into the evening, forget the cuddling...forget the couch!

Here's a tip: As soon as both of you are through the door in the evening, hit the pause button on your day. Wherever you are in the house, find each other. Get close (hugs are great). Touch (a no-brainer, but...). Look each other in the eye. Listen to the sound of the other's voice. Concentrate. Connect. Remind yourself...this is your best friend.

The first five minutes will set the temperature for the rest of the evening. Want to enjoy your marital friendship? Greet your friend with one on one attention. Want a hot night? It begins at the door.

The first five minutes - give it a try. It'll change your marriage!