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How to Create the Perfect Brows

© Jenny Kania - 2nd Place Tech Writing Humor Contest 2000

I've always believed that maintaining an attractive physical appearance is one of the most important things a woman can do for herself; the benefits of looking good should never be underestimated.

Last summer, however, after I gave birth to two adorable twin girls, I had to give up many of the expensive beauty services I had grownaccustomed to. Sure, I tried my hardest to manage the budget in order to provide not only for the needs of my children, but also for my own personal beauty needs. In the beginning, I would alternate, buying baby formula one week, and then a little something for myself the following week. My husband, however, did not agree with this plan of action and reminded me that, "Babies need to eat everyday." (Oh, and like I don't need to look beautiful everyday?) But, in order to appease my husband, and avoid another pesky confrontation with social services, I gave up my trips to the salon and took on the task of finding quick, easy, and inexpensive ways to maintain that "cover girl" look.

I started doing my own hair, nails, and makeup and I must admit all was going fairly well until it came time for my biweekly eyebrow waxing. I contemplated heading over to the beauty parlor, but unfortunately one of the twins got colic and the doctor's appointment left me broke. I know, what timing; talk about Murphy's Law! Anyway, I asked my husband to lend me some extra cash, and although he works three jobs he selfishly refused to finance what he stupidly refers to as "frivolous spending."

With a professional eyebrow waxing out of the question, I prepared to shape my brows on my own. I boldly and bravely walked to my vanity mirror, tweezers in hand, and began plucking. This procedure proved to be painful and lengthy, and left me feeling both physically and emotionally exhausted. To make matters worse, my brows still looked in need of a good waxing, despite all the effort I had put into plucking them.

Feeling helpless, I reached for my Lady Gillette and began hacking away at the hairs my tweezer had failed to pluck. Okay, big mistake. Let me tell you ladies, you do not known embarrassment until you've had to face the world with razor stubble between your eyebrows. Feeling quite the fool, I refused to leave my house for days, and as my depression grew, so did my brows; it was a vicious cycle.