Children's Physcial Awareness

One of my children is sick this week: snuffy head, runny nose, fever, the works. It has reminded me of one of the big lessons I've been trying to teach my children-to be in tune with your body.

When a baby is born, it often scratches itself because he doesn't understand that those scratchy fingers are actually his. It takes months for the newborn to realize that his hands are his own. As the child grows, he learns more and more about how his body works and how he can make it do different things. This long process of self-awareness continues throughout a person's lifespan and is often most obvious in two situations: 1) in a yoga class, karate class, golf, or other sport that emphasizes body awareness, and 2) in a counseling situation with a doctor, therapist or spouse where you are required to identify and state how you feel. With a child, body control issues are obvious nearly everywhere he goes.

Being able to recognize and state one's physical status is actually more difficult than it may seem. A newborn has no problem stating what he wants; he wants food so he cries. His parents say, "Shhh, quiet now. It's alright." To the newborn it isn't alright; he wants food and he wants it now! Over the years, we get all sorts of conflicting messages that create layers and layers of rules for when and how to do things. The classic example is a parent telling their child before an immunization shot, "It won't hurt. Don't cry." A more honest phrasing might be, "This will probably hurt for a minute, but then the hurt will go away. If you want to yelp, do it in your hand so you don't hurt your ears." So often we give our children lessons in repression and half-honesties when we really have the best intentions at heart.

One of the first lessons a child learns is about his personal space. This typically becomes as issue in the toddler years when the child sees pretty much everything as "mine!" You can help your child define his personal space by using real, visual markers. When my children were younger, we had lessons on personal space by using colored tape on the carpet. Each child (and me) would get a large circle on the carpet and we would see what we could do within our own personal space. Could we do jumping jacks in it? Could we run around in it? Could we do summersaults in it? The best part of the lesson was when we explored our feelings about our personal space. How does it feel to know that this is your space? (Great!) How does it feel when we all try to fit in your space? (Awful!) As we explored personal space concepts, the children became more confident as they knew that they had a certain amount of space around them that was theirs. These lessons are also invaluable if (heaven forbid) your child ever is in a physically abusive situation. He can better state that his personal space was violated if he has a better awareness of what it is.

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