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Problem Solving--An Overlooked Skill

© Cathy Malmrose

What skill could possibly be more useful and more pervasive than problem solving? Of all the valuable skills your child learns at school, problem solving should be number one, but often, we relegate problem solving to define the little word problems often found at the end of a math worksheet. Problem solving covers so much more.

When your child's pencil tip breaks, your child needs to do some problem solving. Use the pencil sharpener that's loud and noisy and brings attention to you? What if it's broken? Search for a sharp pencil in your desk? Ask a friend for a pencil and get in trouble for talking? Ask the teacher for a new pencil and risk her annoyance? Sit still until the work period is over? I've seen too many children sit still (or worse, act out) when they are unable to successfully solve this simple, common problem. Students from kindergarten to college all seem to get stumped on the simplest tasks. Basic, logical problem solving is an integral part of the day and it needs to be taught directly and specifically.

Problem solving is at the core of the thousands of basic decisions we make every day. During an average day your child will solve: 1) the problems in an assignment, 2) time management while completing assignments, 3) a disagreement with a friend. The list can seem infinite. How do we teach our child to make decisions quickly, easily and, if necessary, creatively?

Start as young as possible, even before your child acquires language skills. Be aware that your child is problem solving all day long and needs support and encouragement. When your child is first trying to figure out how to complete a simple task, begin forming a positive mindset now. It will overflow into your parenting abilities later.

When your child acquires language skills, begin using correct language to identify problems. For example, if your two children are fighting over a toy, say, "I see that this is a problem. Both of you want the same toy." Identifying the problem is such a basic skill yet it's the crucial first step. Once your child has learned how to identify the problem, begin the actual problem solving process. With very young children, it helps to give them options. For example, "You can play with another toy or you can wait a few minutes until Max is done with that toy." If your child is emotionally out of control, you may want to suggest more restrictive options; "You can play with another toy or we can leave the room." With my children, I was very specific and gave them visual aids. I would say, "Option 1 is to play with the drum (hold up one finger on my left hand). Option 2 is to wait until Max is done playing with the toy you want (hold up one finger on my right hand)." My child would grab the finger than represented his choice and all was solved.