Children as Future Parents

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Nov 30, 2001

There are so many important areas of learning that aren't taught in the schools. One of the topics that isn't taught (and maybe shouldn't be taught) in the schools is that of how to be a successful parent some day. It's highly likely that our children, our adorable, pudgy-cheeked, wide-eyed children will be parents of their own little ones someday. Learning how to be a good parent obviously starts in the home at a young age. What does it take to teach a child how to be a good parent?

For the sake of this article, let's quickly define a "good parent". Although this is a loaded issue, there are a few things nearly everybody can agree to. A good parent is someone who is dedicated to their children, someone who wants to be a parent, someone who will do "whatever it takes" to provide their children with a healthy, happy, safe atmosphere.

You can probably guess the "first and most important" part of teaching children to be good parents someday: be a good parent yourself. Much easier said than done. We all bring baggage to our marriage and to our parenting. I used to think that being a good parent merely provided a role model for children, but it's, oh, so much deeper than that. I saw through personal experience that a parent's role model can make it or break it for a child. When my husband and I were in college, we were good friends with another couple who was similar to us. Both husbands had the same major; both wives had the same major. We were all the same religion, same social and financial status, etc. We had so much in common, yet ten years later, my husband and I were happily building a family while they were divorced, he was in jail and she was in a dangerously deep depression. What was the difference? What made one couple able to work things out and another couple plummet into oblivion? One couple (my husband and I) had parents who provided good role models for marriage and for parenting. The other couple, our friends, both came from abusive dysfunctional families. Although people can overcome their painful childhood experiences, it's important not to underestimate the power of our parent's example. One of the best gifts we can give our children is a strong example of what it's like to be a happy, healthy parent.

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