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Is Your Roommate Making You Sick? Unresolved issues can dampen your college experience

© Elizabeth Trego

One of the most radical changes that can bring about stress is the living arrangements students face on a college campus. For most college freshman, they have enjoyed their own room, private bathroom privileges, and above all, the ability to close their door and shut out the world when they felt like it. Save the occasional summer camp experience, the new college student has little experience living with a complete stranger, trying to juggle that person's likes and dislikes, schedules, and personality while at the same time, maintaining their own sense of self, personal space, and peace.

Being a "townie," it was more financially feasible for me to commute to school so I didn't have the college dorm experience. However, some of my friends did and while I sometimes wished I had lived on campus, their stories made me think twice.

One of the biggest obstacles of having a roommate is finding someone that is similar to you in personality and overall lifestyle. Take Jeff, for instance. He was a very studious individual, partied some, but not every weekend, and as a freshman, didn't have a girlfriend. His roommate, however, was an athlete that didn't hit the books that often, partied frequently, and always seemed to have someone whom he wanted to stay in his dorm room. On one particular night, Jeff's roommate got in late, woke Jeff up and actually forced him to leave his room and sleep in the dorm's lobby because his roommate wasn't ready to go to bed and wanted to entertain some of his friends. Jeff was found in the morning sleeping on the lobby sofa, having not wanted to make waves and avoid a confrontation. Going through similar experiences a few more times, he finally decided it was time to request a new roommate and thankfully, he found one that was a much better match for his lifestyle.

At a completely different college, my friend Mary experienced similar problems. Mary was also a studious student who knew she needed to study a lot to keep her grades up. She was a shy, fairly introverted individual and didn't care for the "party" scene. Her roommate, however, was the exact opposite of her. She'd stay out frequently, want to stay up when Mary wanted to sleep, and had a boyfriend that came down to campus every weekend, making it extremely uncomfortable for Mary because she knew her roommate preferred she spend the weekend anywhere other than their dorm room. Mary would call me frequently and tell me how unhappy she was with her living arrangements. Although her roommate was a nice person, her lifestyle was so unlike Mary's that they couldn't seem to find any common ground. Like Jeff, I told Mary to see if she could find another roommate and luckily she was able to do so.