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Less is more...

© Mai Hoang

Do you remember when your teacher would assign you book reports and you would write as many pages as possible to make it look like you knew a lot?

Now, do you remember when you had to write essays on tests? You would write a lot to make the teacher think you got the right anwser. You know what I mean, writing 5 paragraphs on something that could've been covered in a few sentences.

You can't do that in journalism. You will confuse people who read your works in newspaper and magazines if your writing is too wordy. The more clear, short, and sweet you make it, the better it is. As the title of this column says, less is more.

Sure, it's hard to cut the "sacred" words you write. I admit, my first few articles were very wordy. As you keep cutting articles, it will get easier. In this column, I'll discuss what should be cut in your stories.

1. Avoid phrases such as "early morning," "twelve noon"

These phrases are redudant. Is there really an eleven noon? What about the phrase, "broad daylight," as opposed to narrow daylight? When you're writing look for these phrases, and try to figure out how you can say the same thing if you cut a word or two.

2. Try cutting unnecessary phrases. Here's something to read:

"NBC Broadcasting has turned down a company proposal by more than a 2-1 margin, 598 opposed and 284 in favor of the proposal."

Did you figure out what that sentence tried to say? I personally got lost after "turned." Seriously, that sentence could say what it wanted to say by cutting a few adjectives, phrases, and other needless descriptions. This is what is left after you cut out all the unnecessary descriptions.

"NBC broadcasting has turned down the company proposal, 598-284."

Did you understand that sentence better. I can see clearly that NBC turned down a proposal. See how much easier it is when you cut words?

3. Look for prepositional phrases.

One of the worst clutter comes when prepositional phrases are involved. Here's an example.

"The home of Joe Carter was raided by the robbers on June 22nd."

Notice that this sentence has THREE prep phrases. Do you know who did what? The prep phrases make it dificult to figure that out. Here is the sentence, sans the phrases.

"The robbers raided Joe Carter's home on June 22nd."

There is still one prepositional phrase, but at least you can see that the robbers raided a man's house.