In an interesting short article, It Is High Time We Lose the Stereotype, the writer points out that there are still those who believe in the idea of the stepmother as a bad person. One reason for this, she says, is the lack of positive presentations of stepmothers in stories and films (with the exception of the recent "Stepmom" movie). All stepmothers in fairy tales are negative types; in addition, the women in the stories mistreat their stepchildren.
There are some interesting statistics presented at Beyond Cinderella and Snow White: Challenging the Myth of the Wicked Stepmother. Besides other available data, the researchers checked with a sample of 10 and 11 year old children for their findings. They discovered that stepmothers reported having less fun with the children than biological mothers did, but they were no more likely to punish the children. Other areas are also discussed.
An excellent article about the realities of being a stepmother can be found at What's a New Stepmom to Do??. The author looks at some of the expectations a new bride might have, and explains the reality of these points for the newly married woman who is becoming a stepmother. Following the negative list, she goes back and presents the positive aspects. The categories discussed include the following:
- The Wonderful Husband
- The Carefree Lifestyle
- A Child or Two
- Cozy Home
- Financial Independence
Another article that takes a thorough look at the realities of being a stepmother is 'Can I be a Stepmother?'. Some women think that it all will just work itself out, whereas the major changes involved in stepparenting require considerable advance consideration, planning, and discussion. Above all, the author urges stepmothers to move slowly and not expect instant harmony and love from her stepchildren. She shouldn't be too quick to try to introduce her own ideas and plans to her new family, although she will actively work with her husband to make decisions about family routine and rules. As is the case in most of the articles about stepparenting, there is an emphasis on time, and allowing the relationship with the children to develop slowly.
A condition that probably is very familiar is Stepmoms and Stress. The article looks at what is involved in being a custodial stepmother, or a noncustodial one, and finishes with a detailed look at what you can do to cope with either situation. The final warning is well worth paying attention to: "You can't please everyone all the time!!" It is important, too, to remember that you should look after yourself and not lose sight of what your own needs are.
Go To Page: 1 2
| Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: | View all related messages |
For a complete listing of article comments, questions, and other discussions related to Judi Chapman's Step- Parents topic, please visit the Discussions page.