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STEPPARENTS AND VACATIONS, PART 2

© Judi Chapman

An article on this topic was written on January 1, 1999 and is still posted. You can check it for other ideas about stepfamily vacations.

Is this the summer that you're all going to pile into the car and have a family vacation? Are you thinking that a couple of weeks away will iron out the wrinkles in getting the stepfamily to function well? The vacation probably is a good idea, but it doesn't replace the passage of time as the best tool for family adjustment.

A major advantage of the stepfamily vacation is that it is something everybody can do together -- a contribution toward shared memories and traditions, which helps to build on the foundation of the new family.

Because of the costs involved, you may not want to use the entire vacation time for traveling or staying away from home. What would be ideal, if possible, is to have family time away from home (even if it's a few days), time enjoying things as a family at home, and a bit of a vacation on their own for the parents. If you can manage that, it could work out well for everybody.

There are a number of places online to gather information, and here are a few:

• Airline Toll-free numbers and Web sites
• American Express Travel
• Best Fares Magazine
• Priceline.com

One of the first things to do is to consider notifying the noncustodial parent. As pointed out in the Suite 101 article Vacations and Custodial Arrangements, some areas have a legal requirement about notifying a noncustodial parent before going on vacation, especially if the time conflicts with a scheduled visit. Even if there is no legal requirement, it is a thoughtful gesture to let the other parent share in the child's excitement. If there is any doubt about the legalities, consult a legal professional.

The article also suggests encouraging the children to send a postcard or two to the other parent, and to share picture after the trip. If relatives from the other side of the family are in the vacation area, the other parent might be able to arrange for them to visit with the children while you are there.

There is an excellent article at Vacationing As a Stepfamily. The author believes that large trips are inadvisable for the a stepfamily, particularly when it is newly formed, as there are too many stress-causing factors. Instead, she suggests staying closer to home, and trying for consistency in plans over the years.