STEPPARENTS & DIVORCE: PART ONE

• Guidelines for separating parents - how to avoid common problems
• Parenting plans / Separation agreements - samples and things to consider
• The arguments for shared parenting - as used in court
• The arguments against shared parenting - how to overcome them
• Joint custody FAQs
• Law reform - samples from around the world
• Child Support

At Divorce Avoidance Hints: Things That Can Go Wrong in a Marriage, attorney Richard Crouch presents a detailed article about avoiding divorce. Having interviewed approximately 3,000 people, Crouch has discovered behaviors that are "highly destructive to marriages." The points he discusses in detail are:

• Competing for the Child's Loyalty/Affection
• Chivalry
  The teaming of a very "giving" person with a very "taking" one usually means that there will "be a whole lot of taking going on."
• Having Some Money of Your Own
• One Spouse Keeping the Checkbook
  It is better if both adults in a marriage share time and responsibility for paying bills, and discussing proposed purchases.
• Not Knowing How to Fight Fair
• Infinite Magnification and Politicization of Every Petty Slight
  This deals with the tendency of some people to blame someone else (usually the marriage partner) for absolutely everything bad that ever happens.
• Buying Into Demeaning Characterizations
  It is bad enough when a partner says things such as "all women are stupid and need someone to look after them," or "all men are boors who don't know the civilized way to behave," but it becomes even worse if the other person starts believing the comments.
• Unwise Adultery
• Failure to Communicate
• The Monolithic Marriage
  If the couple feel that they must spend 100% of their free time with each other, seeing nobody else, the effect on the marriage is bad.

If you need some information about divorce laws in different parts of the country, check out Laws by State. Besides offering state-by-state resources, they also list professionals in most areas, and the opportunity to get a newsletter. The site has bulletin boards, a Frequently Asked Questions section, and a chat room.

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