STEPMOTHERS: PART TWO

If a child is raised by a biological mom and a stepmother working together for his or her benefit, it would be a wonderful situation. The child doesn't have to feel disloyal towards the biological mother by being happy with the stepmother, and the women don't have to cope with the battles over just about every aspect of child care. An impossible dream? Not at all: it not only is being done, but also is a growing trend. At Why Suffer Alone? you will meet the "CoMammas," a stepmother and a biological mother who hated each other for more than 10 years. Now they have founded an organization to help other women who are in the same situation, and they are offering a newsletter and a chance to find out how others have managed the transformation.

At the StepMothers Home Page, there is "emotional support, strategies for coping, and understanding." The organization offers resources for all members of the stepfamily, and the site has a chat room and a bulletin board for support. In addition, they have a free monthly newsletter that has information and articles.

Women's Wire is another site with a lot to offer. They have a chat room and bulletin board, plus postcards, tips, and articles on a wide variety of subjects. For example, the current page highlights finances, making the movie "Stepmom," a first-person account from a stepmother, and a report from someone who has a stepmother.

There is an interesting interview with a stepmother at Talking With Step Mothers, and Patricia presents a clear picture of what she believes a stepmother's role should be.

A site with six helpful points to consider is Tips for Stepmothers. This is a good place to visit if you have doubts about yourself and how you are doing as a stepmother.

Visit Dr. Engel's site, Stepmothers: Ask the Expert, to read about some stepmothering problems and the solutions offered.

Mother's Day can be a sad occasion for stepmothers. For 364 days of the year, they feel that they are making slow but steady progress as a member of the family, and then comes Mother's Day and no card from the children. It is a fairly recent development that there are cards available for stepmothers, and many families still may not be aware of them. A stepmother would be thrilled with a homemade card, of course, but the idea often doesn't occur to the children. At Handling Mother's Day, the emphasis is on not letting the day get to you. One suggestion is to tell your husband if it matters to you, and he can speak to the children about what they would like to do in honor of the occasion. Don't be "a good sport" and go with the kids to buy cards and presents for their biological mom unless you feel really comfortable with the idea. This site offers a number of excellent suggestions for stepmothers to help manage the day and the mixed feelings it can bring about.

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