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STEPPARENTS AND FAMILY TIME

© Judi Chapman

In the best of all possible worlds, families would spend a couple of hours together every evening, enjoying dinner and some conversation, followed by a quality family evening. Before long, the stepparent would become comfortable as a member of the group. In reality, any family with school-age children knows that it is difficult enough to have a meal with everyone home, let alone finding time for family fun.

The rewards of spending family time together are high, so it is worth making the effort to set aside at least one evening a week, or part of a weekend day, for this purpose. Although playing games may not seem like a learning process, it is a good opportunity to learn about each other and build closeness. As the stepparent interacts with other family members, everyone is seeing each other in a different situation, where personality characteristics will appear that aren't part of the daily routine. During the entertainment time, there is less distinction between who are parents and who are children.

One starting point is dinner time. With a family's busy life, it is only too easy to get into the habit of grabbing something to eat, often not even taking time to sit down. A workable solution if one family member gets home considerably later than the others is to split up the meal. Have a salad or soup earlier, which helps ease hunger pangs and is better than a sweet snack. When the late arrival gets home, everyone can eat the main course together. If some family members are too young to wait for the later meal, the family can eat the main course earlier and then all have dessert when the last person arrives home.

When a family can get past the idea that everyone must sit down at a specific time and eat the whole meal at that moment, the flexibility that is needed in today's families has been preserved. When everyone is together at meal time, or for part of it, there is an opportunity to talk, share experiences, and make plans.

Spending an evening or a weekend day together involves activities at home or in the neighborhood. For a descriptive list of ten inexpensive things to do with the kids, visit 10 Cheap Things to Do With Kids. The ten suggestions, which are described in detail, are: Go to the Library, Walk, Community Center, Picnic, Community Events, Movie Night, Game Night, Church, Garden, and Volunteer.