The occasional visit by children to a noncustodial parent usually is considered a simple matter to handle, but that often couldn't be farther from the truth. For example, the stepparent may end up totally ignored when the kids arrive, or the children of the noncustodial parent doesn't get along with the other children in the home. Non-Custody Stepparents offers a realistic look at the situation, with some suggestions for coping.
Although things are changing a bit, sole custody usually goes to the child's mother. This practice can lead to a stigma for the mother if the father is assigned custody, as it often is automatically assumed that she is a "bad" parent. There are many reasons why a father is granted sole custody, and it seldom is related to whether the mother is a satisfactory parent. The biological father may be earning a considerably higher salary than the mother is, he could have remarried and be able to offer a more complete family situation than the mother can as a single parent: these are only a couple of possibilities. For an interesting look at the mothers' situation, along with suggestions for help, check out Non Custodial Moms' Link. The "Resources" link offers many sites for noncustodial parents; a number of them are for fathers.
One mother has written a compelling article about her custody problems in Noncustodial Moms. This excellent resource page offers advice, along with numerous links to support sites.
Sometimes a remarriage ends and the situation comes up about stepparents' custodial rights. If the stepparent has not adopted the children, there is no legal relationship between them, no matter how strong the emotional bond. However, arrangements can be made during the divorce settlement to allow for support or visitation. If a stepparent has adopted the child or children, the usual visitation schedule is arranged when the marriage ends. Stepparents involved in such a situation usually are advised to consult an attorney.
An interesting legal case is presented at Opinion, in which the comment is made: "in the exceptional case where the stepparent has sought and obtained joint legal custody of her stepchildren, the responsibility to support the child continues after the divorce." This is a long legal paper that deals with a case under Utah law, but it is worth a look.
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