A good overall look at rules and general settling in is found at New Stepparent: Now What?
There is almost unanimous agreement that a new stepparent shouldn't be actively disciplining the stepchildren at first, and some sources suggest that each parent discipline his or her own children. If possible, however, it would be better if eventually the family is able to live with one approach to discipline, even if it requires compromise. A workable possibility is that one parent can be the primary disciplinarian, with both agreeing on the types of discipline that will be used.
When the new stepparent is alone with the children, a suitable comment for a serious infraction is, "we'll discuss this later and decide on a proper punishment." In short, the discussion will take place when both parents are there, at which time they will work something out together.
This leads to another major point, which is the importance of the parents sticking together about discipline. If one parent makes a decision and the other dilutes it, or throws it out, the children quickly learn to "divide and conquer." A situation quickly develops that is unpleasant for all concerned. A general look at parenting and discipline is presented in the answer to a letter in Mom Undermines Dad's Authority. Among other things, the author points out that sometimes it isn't worth a gigantic battle if there is a difference of opinion between parents about a relatively unimportant matter.
Not everyone will agree with the opinions expressed in Child Discipline and Respect in the Home, but it is interesting to read and consider.
In Child Discipline: Guidelines for Parents, Dr. Gary May writes that "discipline is a positive learning experience that sets behavioral limits and guidelines to lead children to and through adulthood." He continues the very informative article by discussing the aims of discipline and giving some suggestions for developing a successful program.
Dr. Stanley Turecki considers another aspect in Management Techniques for Parenting Children with Difficult Traits. He describes behaviors such as over-activity, unpredictability, negative moods, and tantrums; then he gives suggestions for what the parents can say and do to deal with the behaviors.
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