They Bring Out The Best

Step-grandchildren and grandchildren provide the opportunity to be the best that you can be. When they are very young, they have few expectations of you, so the bar is set pretty low. Their needs are simple and you can become a hero fairly easily. But at the same time, you should still have high expectations of yourself. You should be the best that you can be because these children should be the most important focus in your life.

When I am with my step-grandsons, I want the clock to stand still. The time I spend with them is so precious to me that I want to savor every moment and I want them to remember with happiness what we have done during our time together. I want them to recall the fun we had and the things that they learned, not the fact that I was not at my best. The focus should be on quality time and how it is spent, not on regrets over bad behavior – theirs or yours.

It doesn’t matter so much how you spend your time with them. Your time and your attention are what are important. Don’t worry about wiping up crumbs and fingerprints while they are with you. Those things will be there long after the children have gone home. Sometimes I even leave the fingerprints as a reminder that they were there!

We all have some people in our lives who can “push our buttons” or bring out the worst in us. We often react to them when we should really be doing nothing more than responding to them. It’s best just to acknowledge them, but try not to let them have an impact. It’s a fact of life that we are not going to get along well with everyone that we encounter in our lives.

Children learn through examples that we may not even be aware we are showing them. If they see us showing courtesy and understanding towards other people, it will illustrate to them how to get along with others. There isn’t much in life that justifies losing your temper, especially in front of a child. If you are patient and levelheaded, the children will react in the same way. If you lose your temper and raise your voice, they will also. It’s not only good behavior that children learn through example.

Only if that child is doing something that is potentially dangerous to them or others should you speak forcibly to them. My friend’s mother used to say there was no reason to yell unless the house was on fire!

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