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My Three Grandfathers

© Diane Marquette

When I was little, I had three grandfathers. My friends thought that was cool. For a long time, I didn’t understand why I had three grandfathers, and luckily, no one asked me about it

I was ten years old when I learned the reason why I had three grandfathers. My father’s parents had divorced when he was a teenager, and his mother had remarried. I hadn’t realized that Granddaddy Bill was not related to me by blood. By the time I understood about the divorce and remarriage, I loved all my grandfathers the same.

If you are a step-grandparent, realize that children will not require that you be related to them by blood in order for them to love you and develop a good relationship with you. Children respond to affection and attention and nurturing, and that it what every adult in any child’s life should be providing.

Even if you are one of three (or more) grandmothers or grandfathers in a child’s life, don’t concern yourself about competing with the “natural” grandparents. This is not a contest. There is enough love to go around. As my mother-in-law told me when my older step-grandson was born: “They bring their own love with them”. So, yes, there is enough love to go around.

Don’t try to be an imitation of anyone else. Just be the best you that you can be. Think about what only you can bring into this child’s life. What are your strengths and talents? If you have a love and ability for a certain sport, and can spend time teaching a child how to play golf or tennis, that may be a unique bond for both of you. If you love to bake, take the time to teach your little one the joys of making homemade cookies or cupcakes. This could be the special pastime that only you will share with that child. You have the opportunity to create memories that can last a lifetime.

Spending time with children is the greatest gift that you can give to them. Learn what they are interested in, and try to plan some related activities that will be enjoyable for them and will also introduce you to what it is they like.

The copyright of the article My Three Grandfathers in Step-Grandparenting is owned by Diane Marquette. Permission to republish My Three Grandfathers in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.