Home » Partners & Parents » Step-Grandparenting » Endless questions, endless patience

Endless questions, endless patience

© Diane Marquette

What do you remember about your grandparents? Did your grandmother always make a special treat just for you? Did your grandfather have the patience to show you what he was tinkering with in his workshop? Did they seem to have more time to spend with you than your own parents did?

This is not just the way you remember things being; this is the way that they really WERE. Your grandparents were probably retired, while your Dad worked all day at his job. And even if your Mom didn't work outside the home, she certainly had enough to do to take care of the family and the house.

Step-grandparents can play the exact same role in a child's life as grandparents do. It does not matter how you are related. It does not matter where love and patience and nuturing come from.

Children need stability. Grandparents probably live in the same house for a long time. They may even have the same car, furniture, and pets for years. Even if grandchildren don't visit very often, familiarity is comforting. Older people tend to be more routine-oriented, and children like agendas. They feel safe knowing what will happen at Grandma and Grandpa's house if it's basically the same every time they are there.

Each of us is a product of our experience and the combined influences of people we knew when we were growing up. Even as adults, we are all works-in-progress. Never miss an opportunity to have an impact on a child's life. When a child pays you the ultimate compliment by asking you to color with them or play outside with them, jump at the chance. Everything else can wait. Chores will still be there after the children have gone home.

The world seen through the eyes of a child is a very different one from the world that many adults see. Most days, adults do not even take in much of their surroundings, being so consumed with the busy-ness of the day. Children are more focused on what they are doing, but enjoy it. They do not rush from one thing to another the way that most adults do. Children are experts at being "in the moment". Adults could benefit greatly from this lesson.

Be patient with your step-grandchildren. Remember how much of an influence you can have on their lives. Hours and days quickly turn into lost years. There is never a second chance to relive a childhood. Answer their endless questions,and you will be surprised how much you will learn, too. Make the most of the time spent together to creat quality time that will be cherished by you and the children.