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Stalked, Part One

© Kristie Davis

This article will be the first in a series of articles about "Judie," someone that I've been in contact with who has been stalked. She will be sharing her expertise with us as we go through her story. I am starting her story off with the ending. That's strange, I know, but it seems to fit. I want everyone to realize she is not a victim - having been stalked has empowered her. She has risen above the stalking and forged a life for herself. As the story unfolds, she will reveal everything - how the stalking started and how it ended. I hope you "tune" in for these installments. I think you will find it interesting. It gives another perspective on this serious crime. Here are the tips that Judie had to share with me for people who have been or are being stalked.

1. Stop all contact immediately no matter how rough it gets or how many threats you hear

2. Get the police involved immediately and no matter how minor you may think the situation is. File a report each and every time something happens and no matter what don’t back down.

3. Start documenting. (Always keep a back up copy of anything you turn over to the police)

4. Hold onto all evidence (letters, gifts, etc.) don’t ever throw anything away.

5. Don’t change your home number. Messages left on your recorder by the stalker is the best evidence you can get. I’ve had to many clients change their home number. When the stalker can’t reach them they then bombard the victims office with phone calls or show up at their place of employment. Also if they can’t reach the victim at home via phone because it’s been changed the first thing they do is show up at the residence. Always remember – don’t answer the phone if you don’t know who it is. (I will add a caveat here. If you truly can't handle answering the phone, worried that it might be your stalker, you can get another phone line and give that number to your family. Keep the other line hooked to your answering machine and don't answer the phone. This way the psycho still thinks that is your phone number, and you have proof he/she is calling you - Kristie)

6. I’m a firm believer in restraining orders.

7. Notify your employer, friends, neighbors, etc. what is going on. If nothing else help educate them on stalking. Make sure they have a copy of the restraining order.