Empty Vessel Syndrome
"Master, which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus said unto him, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (Matthew 22:36-39)
Did you notice the three commandments Jesus gave in this passage? Most of us notice only two: love God, love our neighbor. We find these two very difficult at times, and the reason is because we miss the third commandment: love thyself.
The way we treat others is often a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. If we don't like ourselves, we tend to not treat others with love, either. Trying to love someone outside of yourself if you don't love yourself first is like trying to pour water from an empty jug. Women are especially prone to this empty vessel syndrome, trying to please everyone else at the expense of herself. Eventually, there's nothing left to give.
We all know it's important to take care of ourselves, but there's often a stigma associated with self-love. We're afraid of being seen as selfish or egotistical. As children we're taught to share when we don't really want to, as adults we have to compromise with our spouse, in church we're taught we are sinners and not worthy of love. Throughout life there is encouragement from every side to think of others first. But how can you pour out love from an empty vessel?
When you are filled with love for yourself, satisfaction with who you really are, that love naturally fills you and spills over onto others. You have no need to change others, to covet what they have, to feel jealous; you won't feel as hurt by the harsh words of others. You'll know that anyone who says anything cruel is doing so because they don't love themselves. You won't be influenced by what others expect you to be, expectations that are often unrealistic or conflicting. You will know peace and contentment, and it will radiate from within.
What about people who love themselves too much? People who are stuck on themselves, who are so concerned with self they forget about others? Those people really don't love themselves. They are busy trying to convince themselves that they like who they are, trying to drown out the voice inside that says otherwise. When you truly accept and love yourself, warts and all, something amazing happens: your self love becomes selfless love. You are so full up and bursting that you have to give love away. You just can't help it, any more than you can help water spilling onto the ground from an overflowing jug.
Latest Articles