Forgiveness Therapy
The third step is to examine the situation from the other person's point of view. What may they have been thinking? Were there perhaps other factors involved like an argument with a spouse earlier in the day, or a reprimand from the boss? Fourth, accept the hurt without passing it on to anyone else. The more it's passed around, the bigger it grows. Squash it by choosing to own it.
Finally, extend compassion to the offender. This may mean reconciling with the person who hurt you directly, or it may be something done only in your head. This step releases the offender from the hurtful situation.
Forgiveness is one of the primary lessons of Jesus. In Ephesians 4:31-32 it states to release all bitterness, anger and thoughts of revenge, and to be kind, gentle and forgiving. Many people take comfort in knowing God forgives their sins. But what comfort in forgiving others, and asking forgiveness from other people! Happiness may be fleeting, but anger, hurt and guilt live on, burrowing deeper until it begins to control us. Only by releasing this parasite can you maintain health and balance.
Going one step further to something called Radical Forgiveness, the hurt party deeply examines life and spirituality, ultimately realizing that life is divinely guided and the hurt happened for a reason. Thus we surrender to the flow of life and understand there is really nothing to forgive. By releasing the role of victim, we find peace and unity with all humankind, finding that we are all connected at soul level, and that despite our human failings and emotions, the true reality is spiritual love. All else is illusion.
Forgiving someone is not an easy task. You cannot just skip to the part where you feel better. Deciding to just "let go" of the hurt or trying to forget it will lead to failure. Those are quick fixes and only mask the anger. It will resurface. You must go through the steps of feeling and owning your emotions, consciously deciding to try and forgive the other person, compassionately putting yourself in the offender's shoes, and then extending forgiveness.
It is not forgiveness when you say, "I'm going to be the bigger person and forgive you." Self-righteousness and pity have no place in true forgiveness. It must be done because you understand it is unhealthy, you are tired of being a prisoner to your negative emotions, and you want
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