The questions aren't easy, and there are no "one size fits all" answers. Many people return to the church of their childhood... or its polar opposite.
But, few people find complete solace or security in any church or religion. Most say, "Well, I believe [this] more than [that], and when someone launches into [this theme], I do my best to smile, nod, and generally tune him or her out." And that can be fine.
Spirituality is something as unique as you are. And, most people find comfort in organized religion proportionate to how readily they "fit in" with the congregation.
Personally, I like the definition offered in The Complete Idiot's Guide to Awakening Your Spirituality: "Spirituality is any practice that helps a person to quiet his mind, open his heart, and connect with a being greater than his normal sense of self."
Every element of that definition resonates with me: Whether you choose prayer, meditation, or some other practice, the sense of internal stillness and peace is essential. An open heart can be a challenge in a world that is often too busy or too self-centered to treat others as gently as we should. And the "greater being" allows for all concepts of Deity--internal, external, or both.
Perhaps you find inner peace in the forest or at the water's edge. Maybe that's found by watching your child sleeping, or on your knees in prayer. No two people will have the same answers.
But, connecting with a "greater being" can be the biggest challenge for some of us. It is there that we encounter the challenges of faith... belief in things unseen, and things that we cannot prove.
For some, social and patriarchal issues can be added hurdles to the concept of a Father (or Mother) in Heaven, if your spirituality leans towards those traditions.
Mostly, the place to start is at the beginning: Quiet your mind. Don't wrestle with questions of Deity and divinity, or anything else related to traditional and mainstream religion. Start within yourself, finding that still, quiet place where you can become grounded and know how you are different from the outside world... and how you are very much a part of it.
Perhaps this is a good time to get outside and take long walks, connecting with Nature. Time alone in a chapel--whether or not it is a religion you practice--can provide the solitude that you need to recognize when your mind is quiet. Sometimes it's necessary to remove ourselves from our noisy, busy-busy world, if only for a few moments. Chapels are ideal for this. Many airports have non-denominational chapels that are open 24 hours a day. Some colleges do, too.
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