Over the last three years, I have talked to parents facing amazing obstacles. A common thread emerges - we hold rare treasures who often alter our belief systems and change lives. A little ball of energy named Jacob changed my perspective. Jacob was born with Down's syndrome and a very complex heart defect.
His parents opted for surgery knowing he stood a 50-percent chance of survival. Without surgery, he would have certainly died young and had extremely limited physical ability. Following surgery, Jacob's mom, Sandy*, stopped at the hospital chapel to give thanks. Almost as an afterthought she requested that if God planned to take him, she not be present.
Upon returning to ICU and seeing that Jacob was stable, Sandy spontaneously decided to drive home, shower, visit with her husband and other children and return to the hospital for the night. Forty-five minutes later as she walked into her home, Jacob's cardiologist called and said Jacob had died. He reported that Jacob's blood pressure suddenly plummeted and he was gone. Attempts to resuscitate proved futile.
Sandy and her family arrived at the hospital to see Jacob wrapped in a receiving blanket, no longer engulfed by wires and tubes. She was able to hold him for a couple of hours and commented on how peaceful he looked. Jacob was 10 months old.
The reality of funeral arrangements presented a financial crisis. With a phone call, Jacob's cardiologist arranged for a friend who was a mortician to donate his services. He cremated Jacob and placed his remains in a sterling silver teddy bear urn. A memorial service followed, which Sandy handled with unimaginable grace and strength. Days after she felt ill and during the weeks following discovered she was pregnant with a healthy baby born the following spring.
Never before had I witnessed such a testimony to the power of prayer. She asked to be absent and was sent on an unplanned trip home. A window of time that God used to work a small miracle.
Hanging out in children's hospitals after Michael's birth had awakened a keener spirituality in me. Jacob's death sealed my faith. Since Jacob's death, I have encountered several amazing stories of God's hand in the lives of parents of special needs children. Anyone who has visited a children's hospital knows that the Holy Spirit walks closely with these children. I had always imagined a children's hospital as a sad and cold place but the warmth, love and presence that surrounds those rooms is unmistakably divine.
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