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One is Silver and the other is Gold....

© Mary Pantazis

I have been asked so many times about ways to help a child with a disability to "fit in" with the other kids. My next series of articles will examine a few ideas on ways you can help your special children to make new friends. ------------------------------------------------- I have seen parents in tears because their son comes home from school and gets no phone calls from friends, while his sibling is on the phone for hours.

I, like every other special needs professional, do not have easy answers. It takes a lot of work on the part of the parent to help a child to make friends. Becoming a friend, and keeping a friend are very important skills to learn. Your children need help with this whether they are special needs or not.

The very first and most important thing a parent of a special needs child can do is to become very visible. Volunteer in the school. Get to know other parents. Build your own network of friends FIRST! From the very first when you enter your child in school, you NEED to be a part of it. You need to know what your child is doing and who he is doing it with.

Attend meetings about the school, join the PTA or PTO. Get to know everyone. As you meet people, so shall your child.

Go to the park and hang out after school where other parents are. Talk to people and allow your child time to play with the other kids. If you live in an area where you can walk to school, then by all means walk to school. Chances are other parents are walking their children to school too. Make yourself visible to the others.

Attend the school functions with your child. Some schools have ice cream socials and carnivals. VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME! Take your child to these functions.

Remember that when a child is invited over to another child's house, that invitation must be approved by the parent. If a parent is not comfortable with a special disability, then that child will not get invited! You must create a comfort level among the parents of other children FIRST!