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It's Snowing Down South!

© Martine G. Bates

“It’s snowing down south.” That’s the ladylike phrase we used when I was growing up to tell a friend her slip was showing. I haven’t heard—or used—that phrase in years. Maybe because we don’t wear dresses like we used to, or maybe because elastic, like other fibers, has improved enough to hold up our slips better.

“It’s snowing down South.” That’s the way newscasters on the major networks report an event that excites schoolchildren (and their teachers), closes businesses, and brings things to a grinding halt.

Don’t get me wrong: we have snow here in the South often enough to know what it is, but not often enough to know how to drive on it, or to get weary of it like people up North who have to shovel their sidewalks to go after the mail. We get to build snowmen maybe once every two or three years, and then they melt very quickly. And I’ve never shoveled snow in my life.

I know—we all know—that we’re laughingstocks when we call off school at the very prospect of a few flakes, but I’d like to explain why life shuts down after we all run to the grocery store for milk and bread when a quarter of an inch is forecast. I’d also like to accomplish this task without being defensive; we’ll see how well I do.

Let me start by describing the magical afternoon I recently experienced. It was an epiphany of sorts, and started me on this train of thought. I was at work, worried about finishing my Christmas shopping. I’m one of those people who have to finish everything early, or I stress and fret. (Note to Suite101 Editor: That obviously does NOT apply to my writing, so no snide e-mails, ok?)

Anyway, someone came on the intercom and said schools were closing and we could go home, too. Seems there was some snow at the eastern end of the county, and the mountainous roads were getting scary. (At the risk of having too many parentheses, I need to point out that I work in the central office of a public school system. When school lets out, I go home, too. That perk ranks right up there with June, July, and August.) I was overjoyed at the free afternoon, right at the time I needed it most.

It wasn’t the time off that was so great, though. It was the snow. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I finished what I was doing, then grabbed my coat and headed for the shopping center. I noticed the dark clouds moving in, but decided to ignore them. I wasn’t going home, I was going to shop. No matter what.

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