Beyond words: Non-verbal Communication.
"I did not mean it." We often hear this sentence and do not believe in it.
In the process of communication the intended message may differ from the perceived message as we converse at two levels, verbal and non-verbal.
If both these messages are congruent with each other our communication is effective. However, when there is a discrepancy we rely more on non-verbal cues for additional information.
Non-verbal cues like eye contact, facial expressions, touch, gestures are difficult to control and manipulate so they aid interpretation. However, at the same time if the receiver is not sensitive enough they can be easily misinterpreted.
Eye contact: Eyes reveal our feelings & moods. We feel uneasy if we can not see the eyes of the person with whom we are talking. Similarly when the person avoids eye contact while conversing we tend to evaluate him/her negatively. Avoiding eye contact is considered as a sign of dishonesty, lack of self-confidence and boredom.
Eye contact serves an important role in maintaining and initiating conversation. For e.g. when the speaker takes pause while talking and gazes at the listener it serves as a cue to the listener to speak.
People maintain more eye contact when they are interested in conversation or when they are seeking approval of others. It is difficult to ignore a person who looks directly at you while placing some request or demand.
It defines the nature and the intensity of interpersonal relations. Couples in love maintain more eye contact. It is also interesting to observe that the strangers gaze at each other when they are at distance but as they come closer they avoid eye contact. Eye contact also reflects status. People of high status maintain more eye contact while talking than while listening to the people of lower status.
Maintaining eye contact is a key to effective conversation. However, it is not same as staring. Staring makes people uncomfortable. It evokes lot of negative reactions. The person who maintains high degree of eye contact is considered as warm and friendly while the person who stares is considered as cold and intruding.
Eyes are powerful communicators as they reflect our emotions. If someone smiles at us but his eyes do not reflect it we consider it a phony smile. When the expressions on our face are also reflected in our eyes they are taken as genuine feelings.
Facial expressions: We give lot of importance to facial expressions, as while talking we like to look at other's face for feedback.
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