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Raising a gifted child

© Sally Bartha

Raising a "Gifted" Daughter

Our family's journey into the educational world of "giftedness" began nearly sixteen years ago. We had immersed our daughter with books and stories since infancy and so we weren't shocked when the child psychologist that worked with our preschool, suggested Laura might be "gifted." She encouraged us to have our daughter tested professionally at some future point. We finally did that when she was six. Her school year had not gone well and she was experiencing a vast degree of boredom. Since Laura's school was not set up to accommodate gifted students, the University recommended a special school. However this was not practical for us financially or logistically. We decided to home-school her. This was to be a temporary "fix" in the beginning, however; it turned out to be the best option for our daughter throughout her pre-college years. This worked out well as it allowed Laura to develop her interests in depth; one of which was a love of antiquated juvenile literature that later turned into a small web business for her.

Raising a child who has been identified as "highly gifted" is a challenge for parents and requires a great deal of patience. This is the child who always moves in fast forward, energy levels can be mind boggling! At the same time, life can be very frustrating for gifted children, particularly as they relate to other children. I know our daughter was often very frustrated with her peers, as they were not interested in the more advanced ideas that she put forth and that seemed so logical to her. We tried to give her as many opportunities to experience life as her age and mind could handle.

Since Laura is a very verbal person, discussion was and is routine at our house on a broad variety of subjects. I feel that this is very critical in helping a gifted child to deal with her frustrations. We have used discussion to broaden our daughter's ideas since she was a very small child. It has worked out very well also, as a tool to prevent discipline problems. We always tried to use discussion of any topic before a situation turned into an angry exchange. Because gifted kids have the ability to think logically and in advanced ways and also are for the most part very sensitive, we tried very hard to be good listeners. Even if we didn't agree, we would always try to see things from her point of view and also to explain our viewpoints, in a fair and logical manner, rather than appearing dictatorial. It was my experience that these children require very thorough explanations and sometimes a parent needs to restate what appears obvious several times. We consider ourselves fortunate as parents since we believe that the lively discussions and openness helped to divert some of the teenage angst or rebellion that is thought to be typical of this age.