Maintaining (not building!) positive self-concept

The terms self-concept and self-esteem are often used interchangeably. Lilian Katz ("http://www.kidscource.com/kidscource/con...") writes that self- esteem usually means " that children should have good feelings about themselves. With young children self-esteem refers to the extent to which they expect to be accepted and valued by the adults and peers who are important to them". Self-concept is defined by the Rutgers Cooperative Extension 4H leaders Training Program ("http://www.rce.rutgers.edu/pubs/pdfs/4h/...") as a "growing belief about yourself that helps you to cope successfully with the events in your life and then to make a positive impact on the lives of others".

Whether we use the term self-concept or self-esteem, two things are implied: one is a sense of feeling good about oneself and two is knowing that one is thought well of by others. In other words one who treats himself with respect and consideration will do the same for others and so will receive respect and consideration back.

A positive self-concept is reflected by certain behaviours: · Having healthy relationships with people of all ages, not just one's peers. · Having confidence- taking on a challenge, completing tasks, setting goals and meeting them. · Being able to handle defeat and disappointments reasonably well; being willing to talk about it, express feelings about it appropriately and willing to try again or move on.

Human beings inherently feel good about themselves. They are mostly born this way, unless there has been emotional distress caused to the baby during the pregnancy. This means that we need to maintain rather than develop positive self-concept in children. If we stop doing the things that damage self-concept and self-esteem then we won't have to work so hard at building positive self-concept. Less invalidations and put-downs; less telling them or even subtly insinuating that they are not smart or capable enough will be far more effective than devising opportunities and activities to make them feel responsible and capable. Modeling good relationships- respecting them as much as we demand respect; going against our own prejudices and discrimination and treating everyone equally and fairly will do more than lesson plans that teach about tolerance and friendships. Holding high expectations in a genuine way will nurture self-concept much better than finding token ways to reward our standards of achievement. Revising our curriculum to suit the needs, abilities and interests of our children will work better than trying to force them to fit into our square "holes".

We do indeed have a responsibility as adults to teach and guide our young people. But we could do better in thinking clearly about what they need to learn and not just the methods we use to teach, but the way in which we engage with our young people on a daily basis. We need to examine our own sense of self-concept. If we don't feel good about ourselves it is almost impossible to inspire others to do the same.

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