Taking the Bully by the Horns- An Interview

A. The book helps all. It helps teachers to control their class bullies and to help the victims. Victims learn how to handle bullies and where to get help. Bullies will learn how their negative actions are affecting people and how to change their behaviour. Both bullies and victims are helped with their self-esteem.   Schools and teachers need to be aware of the conflicts and to not be afraid to get involved. Schools can start their own “peace” program.

There are signs to look for to know if your child has become a bully:  damaging property, setting fires, torturing animals, violent rage/outbursts. Tantrums, angry at everyone and everything, was bullied himself/herself, lack of respect for others, low self-esteem, a controller, lack of remorse.

There are also signs to look for to know if your child is a victim of bullying: a change in behavour, e.g. lack of concentration, becoming withdrawn, excessively clingy, depressed, fearful, emotional up and down, happy at weekend but not during the week, drop in school performance, stomach and head aches, sleep difficulties, bruising, torn clothing, binging on food, cigarettes or alcohol.

For the victim: confront the bully only if he is not physically violent and question him as to why he is doing this. Otherwise ignore him . You need to stand your ground. Be strong. Show that you respect yourself. Bullies victimize those who seem weak and insecure.

For the parents:  teach your child good social skills. Build trust so that the child can admit there is a problem and talk with you. Listen well.

• Thanks Kathy for sharing this with us.

There was indeed a lot more that Kathy had to say. I will include some of it in later articles, because I see this as a very important and timely issue.

Please visit Kathy’s site for many ideas on what schools are doing to stop bullying and to get information on her book. http://www.kathynoll.com

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