A friend of mine told me a story many years ago. I continue to re-tell the story because the message in the story is such a significant one. The story goes- one Christmas a mom decided to take her four-year old daughter to the mall. Mom thought it would be exciting for the daughter; all those pretty decorations, the bustle of people, toys in the stores gleaming attractively at the children, and the delightful Christmas music. But from the onset the child was not having such a good time. She was fussing, she didn't want to walk around, she didn't seem to be enjoying the outing. Mom could not understand why the child was not as delighted as she herself was with the whole scene. Then mom stooped down to speak to the little girl. Now mom was at the girl's eye level and she looked around. Guess what she saw- lots of feet, the stands from the Christmas trees and the showcases, the hems of the skirts or legs of the pants. She promptly took the girl home.
It's hard for adults to always remember to look at the world from the child's perspective. It is especially important to do so at holiday times. Gift -giving is one such case in point. Although grown ups do try very hard to select gifts that the child will appreciate, it is also true that their own unfulfilled longing as children for that doll or that train set sneaks into their subconscious when they go shopping for gifts. Or the practical and reasonable side whispers in the ears about how much more "sensible" a board game or book will be than that bright red fire truck with the flashing lights. Parents also react to noisy toys- banging drums, talking dolls, and screeching police cars. Another 'complaint' of parents is toys with numerous small pieces that are easily lost or " make walking in the carpet akin to walking in a field of landmines" according to one parent.
Another difficult area is organising holiday activities in a way that meets the needs of both adults and children. The needs are just too different. However parents must balance the planning so that the entire holidays are not too hard on the children,
Here are some tips to keep in mind this holiday season:
·Avoid crowded shopping malls and long shopping trips with young children. If you must take young ones along, find a quieter time- the middle of the day in the middle of the week. Make the trip short and pay attention to the mood of the young one. As soon as s/he starts to fuss or seems tired (dragging feet, not excited about all the toys displayed etc.) it's time to go home.
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